The DEVIL Rants

LIEW WAI YIN aka (RACHEL)

2011-12-05T14:28:00.007+01:00

HERE's YOUR XMAS CARD

2010-12-20T02:51:00.002+01:00

IRISH POLE FUN

2010-11-28T00:35:00.006+01:00

CANCER RIBBON COLORS

2010-09-03T05:32:00.000+02:00

Red = Aids/HIV, alcohol substance and drug abuse (includes inhalents), MADD, DARE, Epidermolysis Bullosa, Disaster relief, love, heart disease (also uses the red dress symbol), Stroke, supraventicular tachycardia, Wolff-parkinson-White Syndrom (WPW), Pro-life, hypertension, Evans Syndrome, Vasculitis, Wegener’s Granulomatosis

Orange = hunger, leukemia, cultural diversity and racial tolerance, feral cats, motorcyslist safety, Multiple Sclerosis, self injury, reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), Support of the Jewish settlements in the Gaza Strip and North Samaria (Israel), skin cancer (with a sun in the center of the loop), Underage Drinking, Deep Vein Thrombosis, Work zone safety, Highway and Road Worker Memorial, Agent Orange exposure, kidney cancer

Yellow = Support our troops, POW/MIA, suicide prevention, adoptive parents, spina biffida, missing children (amber alert), endometriosis, sarcoma (with or without a sunflower), myxoid liposarcoma, bladder cancer, liver disease, liver cancer, cholangiocarcinomas, hydrocephalus or hydrocephaly, hope in general, boycott Aruba (hope for Natalee), carbon monoxide poisoning, genocide awareness, Victorian Bushfire Disaster 09, osteosarcoma, Ewing's sarcoma, chondrosarcoma

Green = Tissue and organ donation or transplants, depression (both adults and children), bipolar disorder, mental health, mental illness, eye injuries, Tourette's Syndrome, bone marrow transplants and donation, Fanconi's Syndrome, worker and driving safety, Von Hippel Lindau, glaucoma, missing children, leukemia, environment, Fibrodysplasia Ossificans, kidney cancer or kidney disease, neural tube defects, Mitochondrial Disease, growth and rebuilding, Progressiva, Cerebral Palsy, Save Darfur, Stem Cell Research, Neurofibromatosis, Lissencephally, Cornelia de Lange Syndrome, Save The Earth, Go Green, Recycling, Medical Marijuana, Support Family Farms and Rural Communities

Blue = Child abuse prevention, arthritis, gout, free speech, crime victims rights, waterquality, colon cancer, Dysautonomia, hystiocytosis, histiocytosis, Erb's Palsy, Ankylosing Spondylitis, domestic violence, water safety (flooding, drowning and accidents), Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS), second hand smoke, dystonia, interstitial cystitis, bracial plexus injury, Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) , Alopecia, Reyes Syndrome, education, Steven Johnson Syndrome, short bowel syndrome, Myositis, Leukodystrophy, Hurricane Support, Huntington's Disease, police officers lost in the line of duty (AKA, the Thin Blue Line), Malaria, Syringomyelia, Neurofibromatosis, Sex Trafficking and Slavery, Cri du Chat Syndrome, Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, polio awareness, Primary Immunodeficiency Disease, Sensory Processing Disorder (reflex blue shade), Angelman Syndrome, Von Hippel-Lindau

Purple = Domestic violence, religious tolerance, animal abuse, the victims of 9/11 (includes police and firefighters), pancreatic cancer, Chron's Disease and colitis,
cystic fibrosis, leimyosarcoma, macular degeneration, Sjogren's Syndrome, fibromyalgia, lupus, sarcoidosis, the homeless, Mucolipidoses, thyroid cancer, ADD,
ADHD, alzheimers, cancer survivor (this is a general color that anyone who has
survived cancer can wear), Pagan pride, Arnold Chiari Malformation, Mucopolysaccharidosis, Hurler Syndrome, children left
unattended in cars, childhood or pediatric stroke

White = Innocence, victims of terrorism, peace, right to life, diabetes, hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, sexual assault of students, retinal blastoma, blindness, alzheimers, adoption, bone disease and bone cancer, anti-child pornography on the internet, carbon monoxide poisoning (CO poisoning), post partum depression, survivors, Scoliosis, Anti-stalking, Men working to end men's violence against women, Holocaust remembrance, Sex trafficking and slavery (efforts via the childrens anti-pornography and men working to end violence against women groups in 55 countries!), poverty, white ribbon with a knot tied in the middle for marriage equality, Gay-teen suicide

Black = Mourning, melanoma, anti-gangs, Anti-terrorism in Spain, narcolepsy, sleep apnea, sleep disorders, POW-MIAs, Primary Billiary Cirrhosis, Amish Support, gun control, accidents (general designation)

Brown = Anti-tobacco, colorectal cancer

Gray = Diabetes, hyperglycemia, hypoglycemia, brain cancer, glioblastoma, Parkinson's, asthma, allergies, end sex trafficking and slavery in the UK

Lime Green - Lymphoma, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Lyme Disease, Muscular Dystrophy, Ivemark Syndrome, Sandhoff Disease, Support for Adoptees Rights to open adoption records that have been sealed, mental health

Teal = Ovarian, cervical, uterine (all gynecological) cancers, food allergies, substance abuse, sexual assault, Myasthenia Gravis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, agoraphobia, panic or stress disorders (includes PTSD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Fragile X, Batten Disease, Tourette's Syndrome (TSA designation)

Turquoise = (teal colored items work too) Native American reparations, interstitial cystitis (IC Network designation), addiction recovery, Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH)

Turquoise With A Zipper = Global Chiari Malformation Awareness

Burgundy (Maroon) = Hospice care, multiple myeloma, cesarian sections, headaches and migraines, adhesions, thrombophilia and other coagulation or blood factor disorders, meningitis, polio survivor, Post-Polio Syndrome, Hughes Syndrome, brain aneurysm, Hirschsprung's Disease (Congenital Megacolon), children undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with rare disorders or diseases, amyloidosis, hemangioma.

Periwinkle = Eating disorders, pulmonary hypertension, esophageal cancer, stomach cancer, GERD, IBS

Pink = Breast Cancer, Birth Parents, cleft palate, nursing mothers

Hot Pink - Inflammatory breast cancer

Pale Yellow = Spina biffida

Amber = Appendix Cancer

Peach = Uterine Cancer, Endometrial Cancer, Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency

Cream = Paralysis, spinal cord injuries, spinal diseases or disorders, Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA)

Light Green = Pelvic Pain (chronic), Celiac Disease, STD Awareness, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)

Mint = Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD)

Emerald Green = Homeopathy awareness

Jade = Asian and Pacific Islander campaign by ALC to raise Liver Cancer and Hepatitis B awareness.

Light Blue = Prostate cancer, mens health, thyroid disease, lymphedema, Addison's Disease,Trisomy 18, Velo-Cardio Facial Syndrome, Klinefelter's Syndrome, hyperaldosteronism, scleroderma, Behcets Disease, Graves Disease, Shprintzen Syndrome, Edward's Syndrome

Lavender = All cancers (general cancer awareness), epilepsy, hypokalemic periodic paralysis, rett syndrome, Hodgkins lymphoma, foster care or foster parents, infantile spasms, hysterectomy

Orchid (violet) = Testicular cancer

Fuschia (Magenta) = Pro-life, Feminism

Pearl = lung cancer or lung disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Mesothelioma, emphysema, Waldenstrom's Macroglobulinemia

Silver = The Silver Ribbon Campaign For The Brain© for brain disorders and disabilities - includes Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) , Children with physical or learning disabilities, elderly abuse, stalking

Gold = Childhood Cancer (pediatric cancer), COPD, Embryonal Rhabdomysarcoma, Breast Feeding (The Gold Standard)

Copper = Menkes disease

Clear= Lung Cancer, Lung Disease

Light Baby Pink and Blue = Pregnancy and infant loss, SIDS, Male breast cancer, baby safe haven, amniotic fluid embolism, Hyperemesis Graviduram

Light Pink, White and Light Blue = Group B Strep (newborns)

Red and White = aplastic anemia, Squamous Cell Carcinoma, MDS & other Bone Marrow Diseases (AA&MDSIF designation)

Red and Yellow = Hepatitis C Virus (HCV), Teen abstinence

Red, White and Blue = Patriotism, 9/11 victims, fireworks safety

Red and Blue with a Heart = Congenital Heart Defects (also red,blue and red stripes)

Blue And Yellow = Down Syndrome, designated drivers (The Hero Campaign), Fatty Oxidation Disorders

Blue And Green = Intracranial Hypertension (Pseudotumor Cerebri)

Purple Ribbon with a Red rose = Cystic Fibrosis

Purple And Green = Hospice And Pallative Care

Purple And Blue = Rheumatoid arthritis, childhood or pediatric stroke

Purple and Yellow = Chemical Injury (all diseases, disorders, pain, discomfort, or hurt etc. arising from exposure to a chemical substance)

Purple And Black = Paranormal Awareness

Jigsaw Puzzle Ribbon = Autism, Asperger Syndrome

Prism = Multiple Sclerosis (MS)

Orchid and Orange = psoriasis

Orange and Maroon = Virginia Tech Tragedy

Orange and Green = Ritual abuse, Dual Diagnosis

Orange and Blue= Pediatric Bipolar Awareness (top orange, bottom blue).

Lime Green and Aqua = adult stem cell donor

Teal And Pink = Hereditary Breast Cancer or a combo ribbon for gynecological and breast cancers.

Teal And White = Cervical Cancer

Pink and Gold - Phyllodes Tumors

Black and Pink = Bone Marrow Donor, loss of a daughter

Black and Lt. Blue = Loss of a son (you can also use Black and Navy to indicate an older son)

Black And White = Carcinoid Syndrome Cancer (has zebra stripes), Anti-racism, Anti-corruption

Black White And Black (three stripes) = Vaccine danger

Gold and Black = Platelett donor

Gold and Silver = All hearing or ear related disorders and diseases

Blue and Silver = Living or coping with cancer

Lavender and White (two stripes) = Awareness for Missing and Unidentified Persons

Ivory, Burgundy and Ivory (three stripes) = Oral head and neck cancers, oral squamous cell carcinoma, throat cancer, laryngeal cancer, pharyngeal cancer

Ivory Lace = Osteoporosis

Navy Blue and White Pinstripes = ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), Lou Gehrig's Disease

Yellow, Lime Green, Orange, Aqua, Hot Pink= Myelodysplastic Syndrome

Orange, Green, Blue, Purple, Yellow = STD awareness

Red White and Red (3 stripes) = Leukemia and Lymphoma

Blue and White = In memory of Columbine, Teen cancer

RAINBOW = Gay pride or rights movement, same sex marriages

Red and Black = Murder victims (both adults and children), Self Harm or Self Injury (ASHIC designation)

Orange and Red = Myeloproliferative Disorders

Blue, White and Pink (3 stripes) = Parental Alienation Syndrome

Teal, Blue, and Pink= Thyroid Cancer (Thyca designation)

Silver, White, Baby Blue, and Baby Pink (colors run left to right along the ribbon)= Congenital Hyperinsulinism

Support Haiti Ribbons= I am currently aware of 4 ribbons in use to show support for Haitian earthquake victims. The colors being used are red, blue and yellow.
1. Red = color for disaster relief
2. Blue = used by West Virginia University
3. Blue and Red = can be a ribbon or heart shaped icon (colors of the Haitian flag)
4. Red, Blue and Yellow ribbons worn at the Golden Globes.

SG LRT VS MY LRT, MONO, KTM, PUTRA LINE

2010-04-07T11:32:00.013+02:00

SG MRT & LRT SYSTEM

MY LRT, MONO RAIL, KTM, RAPID LINE

one consolation with the MY Train System is (Scroll up again) you get to see girl walking around in her undies with Boyfriend.

(RAPID KL) Railway Always Proved Is Delayed KillerLink

your only choice.

Need I say more?

A GLASS OF WINE

2010-03-11T04:32:00.005+01:00

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...

And those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said:

In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink1 liter of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbedMore than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria Found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..

However, We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) Because alcohol has to go through a purification processOf boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,

Than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:

I'm doing it as a public service!

HERE ARE YOUR MANDARIN APPLES

2010-02-11T00:48:00.007+01:00

GONG XI FA CAI

Greetings from your one and only most HORNY1

Tradition demands that i greet my most coveted souls of this world a greeting on this celebrated festive holiday of the Lunar New Year, since it is not my norm on being good, .... let me as well give you a treat since you souls are already on a roll because of the greeting. My treat for you mortal souls in this occasion I give to you all Mandarin Apples (not Oranges damn it) yes you heard me right APPLES like the APPLES of EVE.... enjoy right bellow.

i hope you enjoy them ..... you see the Mandrin Apples?? if you don't then you better have those eyes of yours checked by my good friend .... DR. IPHONE LOVERBOY!!!! understand...

LETTER TO FATHER (SMART BRAT)

2009-12-08T07:44:00.002+01:00

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

MAKE SURE YOU SHAVE

2009-12-08T03:53:00.005+01:00

This misses look so oh so happy having a group photo taken during an all girls friday night out.. oh but so deliciously good. Oh so happy, and one of them decided to share their happy time by posting this group photo on "FACEBOOK"....damn I love all the cracks of MICROSOFT
however oops this photo is priceless... hey girl next time you attempt to show some skin, make sure you "SHAVE!!!" your bikini lines.... and don't be too excited to upload you photos on "FaceBook" dear... I wonder what else is growing in there... need some lawn mowers.

WISH LIST TO EVIL SANTA (12 days of SXMas)

2009-11-16T06:23:00.012+01:00

1. On the 1st day of SXMas Evil Santa sends me two chicks in black bikinis

2. 2nd day of SXMas Evil Santa sends to me a this babe in a white bikini & 2 chicks in black bikinis

3. 3rd day of SXMas Evil Santa sends to me, a babe in a white bikini, two hot chicks in black bikinis, and two other chicks on a couch.

12. on the 12th day of SXMas Evil Santa sends to me.... oh I just wish (Pls continue on the days of SXMas work your brilliant minds)

DAMN DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

2009-10-26T01:48:00.008+01:00

While on waiting for a ride to KL Sentral ........ how lucky me damn mamamia.. unholy of all unholies

you'all listen, wont you want to have a bite?......

ok demons all together now..... YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY

OTHERWISE youall listen now STEP RIGHT UP!!!

The MALAYSIAN FLAG (MALAYSIA BOLEH)

2009-10-20T04:38:00.008+02:00

I now know, know is not the word i meant, understand would be the right word to describe the sentiment i feel, i am not Malaysian, but to see the symbol of freedom and country desecrated (The Flag) reminds me where im from.

It dawned to me what you guys mean by the social cry you say as Malaysia Boleh... TRY DOING SUCH CRIME of desecration of such symbol in my country, you can be shot for TREASON by doing this to the flag in our country.

Some sense of patriotism i can say to the management of CREST over at Dataran 3 two, Jalan 19/1, 46300 Petaling Jaya, Selangor Darul Ehsan. Malaysia.

MALAYSIA Has been a second home to me for the past years i've been stationed away from home and its saddens me to see this rubbish done to flag of the country that has shown me home away from home.
THATS ONE FOR YOUR BOOK OF RECORDS "MALAYSIA BOLEH"

Star Rail ISO 9001 (Do they even know what ISO is)

2008-09-22T01:32:00.007+02:00

Does this KL StarRail know what they are aiming for at all, for them to boldly put the sign Towards ISO Certification..?? i was waiting for sardine packed trains that were late as hell yesterday .... so what is ISO?
How do you rate ISO 9001, will you put your train schedules right where you started, LATE to 5 minutes???
Oh i see ISO 9001 means packing the train cabs like sardine cans
How much does an ISO 9001 Certification in Malaysia cost?? without going through the real ISO Auditors??? im sure Malaysia Boleh ...... kakakaka

PRICELESS PHOTOS (CYNNA Heritage Row KL)

2008-04-21T03:21:00.004+02:00

ARE THEY YOUR FRIENDS?
HOLY CRAP I WON'T GET CAUGHT WITH THIS BITCHES

SHIT CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS THEY'VE BEEN NEWLY SHAVED

INVITATIONS FOR MY WEDDING SENT OUT BY MY MOTHER

2007-11-30T06:51:00.000+01:00

The Value of a Drink

2007-11-14T04:41:00.000+01:00

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

""I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~ Henny Youngman ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

""24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

~ Stephen Wright ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

~ Brian O'Rourke ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

"To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! "

~ Dave Howell ~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

WHO SAYS THE DEVIL DONT HAVE A FACE?

2007-10-29T04:28:00.001+01:00

Why I FIRED my secretary!!!

2007-10-18T05:09:00.000+02:00

Erotic Story

Why I fired my secretary...Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.

I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say"Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday."I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to leave for the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said "You know, it's such abeautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

We went to lunch.We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such abeautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not."She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.""Sure," I replied excitedly.She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came outcarrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And there I sat... on the couch... naked.

THE END.

MISSING (HAVE YOU SEEN HIM)

2007-10-17T16:13:00.001+02:00

Merdeka FREE FOOD & BOOZE Bloggers PARTY

2007-08-29T20:06:00.000+02:00

Come one come all, happy 50th Merdeka FREE BOOZE AND FOOD come and celebrate MERDEKA , FREE FOR ALL......... AT CLUB SRI DAMANSARA ........PARTY STARTS 31st AUGUST 2007 8:00 PM till late, PARTY TILL YOU DROP!!!!!

What Bloody Tree are you

2007-07-12T01:39:00.000+02:00

Did you Know the Origin of the word F.U.*.K

2007-06-28T00:47:00.000+02:00

NEW SAFETY OPERATIONS MANUAL

2007-06-21T04:16:00.000+02:00

No Mulah No Talk

2007-06-21T01:22:00.000+02:00

ROCK GROUP BAD ASS "KISS"

2007-06-14T01:47:00.000+02:00

Seventeen (MY) Sunway Lagoon Party prt2

2007-06-13T07:51:00.000+02:00

Seventeen (MY) Sunway Lagoon Party prt1

2007-06-11T01:05:00.000+02:00

The difference between Whales & Dolphins

2007-06-08T01:48:00.000+02:00

DAILY DOSE of GARFIELD

2007-06-06T03:32:00.000+02:00

SIGN ADDS

2007-05-16T01:34:00.000+02:00

Wedding Picture Perfect

2007-05-10T11:12:00.000+02:00

Imagine the following:

You have just made it through your wedding ceremony and step out onto the Church steps.

The photographer raises his camera.

Following your family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together.

You and your new bride stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and relatives eagerly wait.

The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky.

Not a dry eye in the house, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity....

LIZ HURLEY YUMMY YUMMY

2007-05-03T03:35:00.000+02:00

I'M TOO SEXY FOR YOU LOVE!

2007-04-24T01:34:00.000+02:00

ACTUAL PMS

2007-04-19T05:52:00.000+02:00

scientists have been able to record on film the actual transformation thattakes place during PMS. Since men do not experience this chemical change, they often tend to dismiss it as just a mood. Now there is scientificproof.

PONDER ON THIS

2007-04-19T01:44:00.000+02:00

IDEAL BRIDAL GOWN

2007-04-18T06:06:00.000+02:00

CORPORATE FOODCHAIN & YOU!

2007-04-11T01:34:00.000+02:00

NO STUPID QUESTION

2007-04-04T02:28:00.000+02:00

GUYS WON'T YOU LOVE TO BE A PUSSY

2007-03-21T04:50:00.000+01:00

You Gotta Love Granny!! (Daily Toons)

2007-03-21T04:19:00.000+01:00

5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

2007-03-20T01:27:00.000+01:00

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel,"

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A Small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually Gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak". ---Unknown

BIG BLACK HOLE ( MY HOLE IS BIGGER THAN YOURS)

2007-03-12T09:38:00.000+01:00

Damn the earth fell from underneath their feet :)) what the hell.. it gave them a bottomless pit, that swallowed everything it could swallow.

this is a sinkhole...GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala — A 330-foot-deep sinkhole killed at least two teenagers as it swallowed about a dozen homes early Friday and forced the evacuation of nearly 1,000 people in a crowded Guatemala City neighborhood.

Officials blamed the sinkhole on recent rains and an underground sewage flow from a ruptured main.
The pit emitted foul odors, loud noises and tremors, shaking the surrounding ground. A rush of water could be heard from its depths, and authorities feared it could widen or others could open up.

Rescue operations were on hold until a firefighter, suspended from a cable, could take video and photos above the hole and officials could use the documentation to decide how to proceed.

The dead were identified as Irma and David Soyos, emergency spokesman Juan Carlos Bolanos said. Their bodies were found near the sinkhole, floating in a river of sewage.

Their father, Domingo, was still missing, according to disaster coordinator Hugo Hernandez.

VALENTINES (Chap Goh Mei)

2007-02-28T03:22:00.000+01:00

DAILY JOKES

2007-02-28T01:45:00.000+01:00

Condom says to Pad "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Pad replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for Nine
months!"

**************************************

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have
your boobs on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick
on his face!"

*************************************

A black guy and a white girl met at a niteclub. She took him to her
apartment and said: "Tie me to the bed and do what black men do
best!"...
So he ran off with the TV and DVD Player...

*********************************
Wife: "I wish I was a newspaper, so that you could hold me every
morning!"
Husband: " Me too, my dear, so that I can have a NEW ONE every
morning!"

**********************************

A Chinese couple got married. When the baby was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, name of
baby was SUM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")

*******************************

A lady visited her doctor one morning. Doc said: "You look so weak and
Exhausted!
Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady: "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"

**********************************
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked "what's he doing?" the maid Replied:
MASTURBATING."(Master bathing)

ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR DAY!

The Man Rules

2007-02-23T03:13:00.000+01:00

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

MY RESIGNATION

2007-02-15T06:42:00.000+01:00

BIATCH! ! !

MAS VMY 2007 SCARRY PIC

2007-01-30T02:58:00.000+01:00

SOME SCARRY SHIT

DO IT YOURSELF GIRL

2007-01-25T04:58:00.000+01:00

Best Devorce Letter

2007-01-22T03:36:00.000+01:00

Sums it all up

The Volume and Size of 5MB memory storage in 1956.

2006-12-19T02:21:00.000+01:00

In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD). The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5MB of data.

Christmas is around the corner lets chant evil carols

2006-12-13T09:37:00.000+01:00

check out this chant......would you want her to chant carols with you?

......oooohhhhh she chants so cool

doesn't she look like a wicked carol chant to you?.....

A touching story - mine

2006-11-24T05:23:00.000+01:00

As I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for an important meeting, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Wearing what can only be describes as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person' s condition.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling some long ago school admonition to "care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked," I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a hidden beauty. A small voice inside my head called out,"Reach out, reach out!"

So I did..........

AND BLOODY HELL DID I GET SLAPPED

AM DEFINITELY CHANGIN MY OUTLOOK ON HELPING PEOPLE WHO GOT LESS CLOTHES ON THEIR BACKS THAN ME

I RULE YOU

2006-11-24T02:01:00.000+01:00

You are The Emperor

Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person.

The Emperor is the great authority figure of the Tarot, so it represents
fathers, father-figures and employers. There is a lot of aggression and violence
too.

The Emperor naturally follows the Empress. Like an infant, he is filled with enthuiasm, energy, aggression. He is direct, guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a tyrant. Impatient, demanding, controlling. In the best of circumstances, he signifies the leader that everyone wants to follow, sitting on a throne that indicates the solid foundation of an Empire he created, loves and rules with intelligence and enthusiasm. But that throne can also be a trap, a responsibility that has the Emperor feeling restless, bored and discontent.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.